Kourtney Kardashian Has Given America, Finally, a Tiny King

The Baby Name Critic was just eleven when Princess Diana died. It was a horrible day. Diana was like a fictional aunt to her, and even inspired her to get into the academic field of Baby Name Criticism (royals really do have the best time dredging up arcane names from the past for their children, and also giving their… » 12/21/14 5:00pm Today 5:00pm

Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard Do Another Disservice to Baby Names

The Baby Name Critic had not yet been called to service when Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard, a couple claiming to be Hollywood talents, gave life to their firstborn, a girl child unfortunately named Lincoln. If the Baby Name Critic had been writing for hire then, she might have said: Do not name your daughter after a… » 12/20/14 2:15pm Yesterday 2:15pm

Wild Is a Bad Movie and Reese Witherspoon Is Bad In It

Will Reese Witherspoon win an Oscar for "Wild" because she overcomes the hardship of wearing a really heavy backpack for most of the film? I sure as hell hope not, but she probably will, because Hollywood is stupid. In any case, this movie was awful, and terrible for women. Wild was by far the worst movie I saw this… » 12/16/14 11:45am Tuesday 11:45am

Monaco's Royal Babies Given Sad Royal Names

Very sad Princess Charlene of Monaco and her husband, very pasty Prince Albert II, have borne the world a gift: a pair of royal Monagesque twins. The Baby Name Critic is not sure how Prince Albert impregnated Princess Charlene, since it appears physical copulation is not an option for the two. But she will not dwell… » 12/12/14 10:15am 12/12/14 10:15am